Day Seven: A Float Down the Snake River and onto the Dude Ranch

One of the specific memories I have from my childhood trip to the Grand Teton and Yellowstone area was a rafting trip down the Snake River through the Grand Teton National Park.  I remember a few things: the natural beauty of the Teton mountain range towering over the valley and the river below, seeing a large bull moose grazing very close to the river as we floated by, and a large curling rapid near the end of the float -- something that seemed very large, powerful and dangerous at the time, but was probably not anywhere near as ominous as I remember it from age 11.

I figured I would book a family float trip down the same stretch of river with Barker-Ewing Outfitters, one of a few outfitters sanctioned to provide commercial trips on the river through the national park.  I had booked this trip months in advance, and when we arrived and checked into the Pony Express Motel in Jackson the night before, they informed me that the outfitters was only a few doors down.  I was happy since that would maximize our rest time -- we again ate late that night and our floating trip was booked for 8:00 am.  

So I was surprised after loading the car and driving the 300 yards down the road to the outfitters that they didn't have us on the list.  After a few minutes they asked "Are you on a float trip or a whitewater trip"?  I told them a float trip and they informed us we were in the wrong place.  We were 20 minutes away from our meeting point which was in Moose Junction, not Jackson where we were standing.  Not to worry, they said, it was lucky we were early and if we left now, we would be right on time for the float trip.  Anyway, herded the kids back into the van and off we went to the right rendezvous point.  

Floating the Snake River through Grand Teton National Park

At this point I began to marvel at the NASA engineering that put a man on the moon.  A minor mistake like this is really nothing on earth, but on a mission of more consequence would have men careening off into the depths of space never to be seen again.  I had taken what I believed to be all reasonable precautions to ensure that we were at the right place at the right time and yet it had gone awry.  The consequences weren't terrible, even if we missed the trip, but what's that saying about "the best laid plans"....?

We ended up meeting up with our group at the right place and essentially the right time.  We met in the parking lot of "old" Visitors's Center (which did not look very old or run down or even ill suited for its purpose), which is across from the "new" Visitors' Center which looks like a $25MM plus building.  

A Bull Moose on the river

We had a peaceful float down the river and saw a few bald eagles and a young bull moose grazing in the river.   We learned a lot about geology from our knowledgeable and experienced guide and how the course of the river though the valley was formed and ever-changing. 

The two older kids seemed to like the trip.  Campbell however, was bored, and as is typical Campbell could not keep from expressing her boredom.  She took a nap in the sun when it warmed up and then started on "When is this going to be over?".  So I guess if I had to recommend ages, I would say 8 years and up seem to be a good age to hold their attention.  

After the trip, Twiggy remarked about the people who  chose to do this for a living.  There is some comparison to "ski bums" who love skiing or snowboarding and spend winters working at resorts so they can ski.  But I think there is something more to this guy.

He was older than most ski bums, he was clearly educated and professional.  He was not young -- probably in the second half of his 40's.  He originally hailed from Bronxville, close to where we live.  He had a brother who was a banker and lived almost an opposite life, toiling professionally in the greater urban New York area.  Our guide clearly loved the outdoors, particularly the river and life on the river.  He expressed disappointment that his brother's family, who traveled extensively all over the world, never chose to spend more time visiting and enjoying the natural beauty of Wyoming that he clearly enjoyed and hoped others would enjoy as well.  

First impressions: Our lodging was on the far end of town away from the town square.  I wish we had more time to explore the town of Jackson (even though it carries that "Jackson price premium" on everything) as it seems like a cool place to poke around, particularly around the town square which has entrances that are covered by large arches of shed elk antlers.  We did see these types of arches in a few other places in Wyoming; however, the largest we saw were around the Jackson town square.  Also, I wish we had been able to spend more time exploring rather than simply transiting Grand Teton National Park and its awe inspiring beauty.  

Grand Teton National Park was established in 1929.  In the 1930's John D. Rockefeller, Jr. started buying up ranch land in the Jackson Hole which he wanted to add to the existing national park.  Some ranchers sold, others decided not to sell and some decided to donate or sell only upon their death.   The guide told stories of the unexpected heartiness of those ranchers that deeded their properties upon their death and the concentration of nonagenarians and centurions around the town of Moose.  Apparently an older, hardy widow was remanded by the government for hunting as she had always done and she had to remind them of whose land it was.  

Dornan's is one ranching family that decided not to sell.  They have a prime location near Moose Junction and have built a nice little business of concessions including a general store, an outdoor gear shop, and a small restaurant where you can eat outdoors, under an awning, or even in a teepee.  So we stopped there and had a reasonably priced breakfast in the shadows of the Tetons before continuing our trip onto the Lazy L&B Dude Ranch.

The Dude Ranch and the Swedish Cowboy

For the dude ranch Twiggy needed a couple of items, including a hat and a shirt or two.  So we debated whether to go back to Jackson which was 20 minutes minimum in the wrong direction or to take our chances in Dubois, the town nearest the dude ranch.  With prodding from Reagan who wanted to get to the ranch ASAP, Twiggy relented and we decided to see if we could get what she needed in Dubois.  

Grant and Campbell at the Dude Ranch

Twiggy was reluctant to dress the part for another reason as well.  She distinctly remembers a comment made by an old friend who adventure traveled extensively.  His comment about the people/posers that arrived to Africa to climb Kilimanjaro, dressed in expensive "safari attire" as they de-planed from their flight.  With that comment firmly rolling around her mind, she was reluctant to be labeled a poser and get completely gussied up in a new wardrobe of cowboy attire just for a few days riding horses in the middle of Wyoming.  After four days of wearing the same 2 shirts, however, and having ridden through numerous changes in weather, I think she regrets not having more flexibility in her clothing choices.  Everyone, including myself, now appreciates more the functionality of the local attire, most especially the hats, particularly since the weather seems to change literally every 15 minutes.

The Lazy L&B is roughly an hour and a half east of Jackson, WY and located about 20 miles outside the burgeoning town of Dubois, WY, 8 miles or so on a paved road and the rest on a dirt road.  We drove back east over the Continental Divide again through the mountains and dropped down into the high dry desert.  

The location of the ranch

According to its website, "Dubois is an authentic western town located along the Wind River, rimmed by the Absaroka and Wind River Mountains. It's an area of striking contrasts from the badlands to the high peaks. It is among American Cowboy Magazine's Best Rural Towns of 2012."  I would second some of this.  For anyone who has seen the A&E series Longmire, it seems familiar as Absoroka is the fictional county in which Walt Longmire is the sheriff.  The dude ranch is located in a fertile, almost oasis-like dell where the one branch of the Wind River meanders through a valley.  The bottom of the valley, which can't be more than a half mile across, is a verdant, green oasis and a pleasant contrast to the dry, red and white high desert.  Within a short distance are high, forested mountains and productive trout streams.

According to Wikipedia, the town, settled in late 1800's, was originally to be named "Never Sweat" because of the dry winds, but the postal service found the name unacceptable and it was named after an Idaho senator instead.  But the citizens, protesting, rejected the French pronunciation of Dubois and, instead, pronounced it as "Du-Boys".  

Butch Cassidy owned and managed a ranch on the outskirts of Dubois, beginning in 1890.  It is said that he was a frequent customer at Welty's General Store in Dubois, which is still in operation.  We stopped and tried to get our remaining outfitting at Welty's before going on to the Lazy L&B.  They didn't have in stock what we needed however, and we pushed onto the ranch without seeing Butch Cassidy's revolver which supposedly still resides in Welty's.  

We did not really know what to expect at the dude ranch.  I had researched numerous places  and was originally looking for something that was closer to Yellowstone so we could stay the whole week and mix in some sightseeing in the park while staying at the ranch.  Many so-called dude ranches are essentially high end camp/resorts with horseback riding as 1 of many activities offered.  The Lazy L&B was a "live the experience" and was primarily a riding ranch, offering a 3 hour morning as well as a 3 hour afternoon ride each day with the exception of 2 days offering full day rides lasting 8 to 9 hours.  

The ranch sits in a valley in which the East Fork of the Wind River flows.  It creates an oasis in an otherwise dry and seemingly inhospitable environment.  

The ranch is in the river valley surrounded by arid high desert

We were accommodated in a small, comfortable log cabin, named "Red Cliff", with a main bedroom and two small bunk bedrooms on each side.  It was really the first time we could unpack and spread out.  

The ranch had a maximum capacity of 35 people per week, depending on the configuration of the families.  It is the first year of operation under new ownership, having been bought by a  young Canadian family.  The father, a former lumber trader, having sold his company spent over 2 years deciding what to do.  His wife also had an interest in the area as well as some family residing in Jackson.  Their decision to buy the ranch and raise their 3 daughters, aged 13, 11, and 9 was especially interesting to Twiggy.  They moved their family from Montreal, a thriving cosmopolitan city,  to a life on the ranch.  Their daughters would also now be attending school in Dubois, where the number of students does not exceed 12 students per grade.  One of our wranglers, Hunter, decided to quit school in 9th grade and receive his GED because he so disliked his 11 classmates whom he had been attending school with for years. 

We pull into the ranch, quickly get unpacked, and within an hour we are told our assigned horses are saddled up and ready for our first ride with our entire family -- literally over the hills and through the woods.  We get a 3-minute tutorial on how to handle the horses, and off we go.  Our horses are assigned to us for the entire week -- I get Hockey, Reagan has Abigail, Grant has Chalupa, Campbell has Sammy, and Twiggy has Bryan.  These are not East Coast arena horses, one step from the glue factory where you simply lumber along nose to the ass of the horse in front of you.  These are athletic horses that are encouraged to trot and gallop when on flat ground and we are led up and down steep, rocky hills.  At first these large animals are intimidating, but by the end of our stay, everyone is a bit more comfortable around them

Meals are served in a common room.  The food is good, not epicurean, but certainly not campfire cowboy franks and beans or cookout.  And it varies -- one night we had a Mediterranean style meal with hummus and couscous.  Fresh salads and fruit are served and muffins and other goods are baked daily.  There is an honor bar where one can avail themselves of a cocktail or a glass of wine before or after dinner.  That night at dinner we began to get to know some of our fellow guests which included another family of four (mom and three kids moving to Philly from Seattle), Mathias the Swiss guy, returning for his 14th year and in his second week of his annual three- week stay, a French family from New York, three adults from Southern California who owned a Montessori school, and a family from Minnesota.   

Staffing of the ranch was interesting.  Given its location, the ranch has a very short season -- from the first Sunday in June to early September.  They had to hire about a dozen wranglers (horse people), a chef and sous chef, dining staff, housekeeping people, etc.  So these people are seasonal, but many are returning employees from years past. The dining staff consisted of a chef and sous chef/pastry chef, as well as a boyfriend/girlfriend serving staff who would be starting their freshman year of college in September.  She was destined for Colby and he was destined for, I believe, Dennison -- neither of which are slouch colleges.  The housekeeping attendant, Mary Ann, had a husband working nearby at the "Trial Lawyers College".  She was an avid outdoors woman and we were told she would disappear for 3 to 4 days at a time and hike out on her own with just a tent and a few supplies.  She would be the perfect candidate for the Discovery Channel show "Naked and Afraid" where they choose 1 man and 1 woman and see if they can survive 21 days in the jungle.  This chosen lifestyle was so beguiling to Twiggy, who is the antithesis of a Mary Ann.  During our trip through Yellowstone, Twiggy refused to even use the bathroom huts and would wait until we came upon a full service plumbed restroom. 

Then there was Max, the Swedish cowboy.  He spent the summer months at the ranch and the winters in Sweden.  The word is that he spends the winter in Sweden driving a cab -- dressed in his full wrangler attire.  

Max and his girlfriend, Eva

Looking back, I think this was just the right spot for our family.  After six days in a car, the kids could now go about doing what they wanted and quickly found friends among the other kids and 3 daughters of the owners, aged 9, 11, and 13.  It was not too big, it was very family friendly, the owners made us feel as part of their family and it was small enough that we got to know everybody there on a semi-personal basis even though our stay was abbreviated.     

From the second day on, we had a ride in the morning, a break for lunch, and a ride in the afternoon.  As the week progressed, there were a few all day rides, only one of which we participated in.  The kids were separated from the adults and rode with peers -- which ratcheted the stress level down significantly.  Reagan essentially was gone from early morning until well after dusk while the other kids were with their peers for the majority of the day.   It was great having the kids separate as we knew they were having fun and were safe. It was reminiscent of my childhood, where I would disappear during the day on a hike and not reappear again until dusk.   Good for the kids and good for the parents.

On day 2 of our morning ride, as Twiggy and I were riding along the steep, rocky ridges and crossing back and forth across streams, it began to dawn on us that we were in a special place.  The scenery was the most awesome scenery imaginable and varying.  There was high chaparral, sage desert, red mountains striated with white dirt.  There were dry creek beds and washes with branching canyons with juniper, spruce, and cottonwoods.  Sparse at first, more forested in some areas.  There were forested mountains, some areas widely devastated by the pine beetle, with probably 50% or more of the trees clearly dead or dying.  We rode all day and did not see another person, car, or even a road even on a distant ridge line.  We rode through the Wind River Indian Reservation, on Bureau of Land Management land, and on private land.  We saw reasonably fresh kills of deer on our all day ride.  We rode through some of the best fly fishing areas of Wyoming across rivers where our heels and legs would become immersed in cool, clear water as we crossed the stream and where the horses might occasionally drift downstream as they struggled against the current.  

It became apparent that the first few days were not an anomaly.  On the East Coast, it is not uncommon for afternoon or evening thundershowers to crop up in short order.  In Wyoming, the weather changes a lot and quickly.  The skies would go from as blue as a sapphire to stormy in 15 minutes, then back to endless blue sky and then back to thunderstorms again.  So everyone kept a rain jacket as well as a fleece on their horses.  

Needless to say, ibuprofen played a crucial role in Twiggy and my comfort.  After the first day, we would "preload" for the inevitable coming soreness.  That and the end-of-day cocktails kept me going.  At the end of the day we were inevitably tired and bedtime could not come soon enough.

Campbell at the square dance

On the 4th evening, the guests, owners,  as well as many of the wranglers went into town to attend the weekly Square Dance at the one and only bar in Dubois.  The cover charge was $3...drinks were 50 cents.  There were guests from other, nearby ranches, including a surprising number of Europeans and even an Ethiopian oil man and his family.  

First impressions: Stereotypical cowboys are taciturn people -- men of few words, but those words they do utter carry some weight.  There is often basis for these stereotypes.  Each ride we took had two wranglers, one in front and one at the back.  Given there were only roughly six riders in each group, we had plenty of time to "converse".  Now for those of you who know me, know that I am not the most gregarious of humans on the planet.  These guys made me look like a politician.  I did not mind that, and I got some amusement watching the interplay between the men wranglers and the one woman wrangler who accompanied us on a ride.  She was originally from Long Island and an accomplished horseman and business person.  However, she clearly liked to converse more than her male counterparts.  In fact, she was probably in the top 15% of the most talkative people I have met.    It was a case-study in human interaction -- my horse had a proclivity to lag on the first half of each trip (probably because he was carrying the heaviest load).  That allowed me the ability to sit back and observe the interaction of the group -- usually the female wrangler would get engaged in conversation with the women riders and the men would somehow manage to engage in some silent, unspoken form of camaraderie.   Everyone was happy.  

Back Through Yellowstone and onto West Yellowstone, MT

Back Through Yellowstone

If you view a map of Yellowstone, you can essentially divide the park into two parts splitting it in half vertically with the east side of the park containing the parts most known for wildlife, the Lamar and Hayden valleys, and the west side of the park encompassing the more active and well-known geologic features, including the geyser basins and Old Faithful and Mammoth Hot Springs, etc.  It is not as if the east side does not have geological sites or the west side does not have any wildlife, but in general this is how it works out.


We planned the trip coming down the east side of the park before the dude ranch and going back up through the west side of the park after we left there.  That would essentially be one pass through to see the wildlife and another pass through to see the geothermal sites.

We stopped at the Visitors' Center / Ranger Station but didn't stay too long because most of the exhibits were dedicated to fires which happened in 1998.  So we pushed on to see Old Faithful and the other geysers in the Upper Geyser Basin.

One of the geysers in the Upper Geyser Basin

We arrived just in time to see Old Faithful do its thing and then spent about 90 minutes walking around a good portion of the rest of the basin taking in some of the other geysers, some of which were active as we passed by.

The kids really did not like the sulphuric smell of the pools and mud.  According to Campbell, it smelled like rotten eggs.

One of the stops later in the day was at the Midway Geyser Basin, where the impressive Grand Prismatic Spring lies along with a number of other hot springs.  When you look online at pictures of this hot spring, it looks very colorful; however, those pictures are always taken at a height and angle that you can't see from the ground.  From our vantage point on the boardwalk surrounding the spring, it was hard to see into the Grand Prismatic Spring because of both the viewing angle and the weather which created a cool ambiance and interesting lighting.

The kids at Grand Prismatic Spring

After touring the west side of the park in a relatively hurried fashion, we finished up at West Yellowstone, MT.  This town is a busy little crossroads into Yellowstone from the west, but is essentially a small town full of over-priced hotels rooms and mediocre, over-priced restaurants.

First impressions: 1. Lots and lots of Chinese people in Yellowstone.  Saw more Chinese people in Yellowstone than we have in all other places combined -- and that includes Hawaii since I am crafting this almost two weeks after the fact.  2. Geologic sites are like churches in Europe -- after a few mud volcanos or geysers they all begin to blend together in your mind and unless they are significantly different from one another, it is hard to remember their actual names.  3. Very little of interest in West Yellowstone.  Bad food, expensive hotels, and not much else.  Whereas it might be interesting to spend some time in Cody, West Yellowstone is a way-station, not a destination.

Elko, NV or Bust

After leaving West Yellowstone, MT, the next two days were essentially transit days.  I knew we could probably have pushed all the way to Reno in one day, but that would have been an extremely long day and probably exasperating for the kids (as well as Twiggy).  So I looked at the map, pulled out the Road Trips book, and scanned the Roadside America website for an interesting detour along the way.

To be frank, in my humble opinion, there is really not much to see or do in southeastern Idaho.  I did more than a little research on potential stops but could not find anything that seemed even potentially mildly entertaining to the kids.  In the midst of this, I had seriously entertained a side trip to see Craters of the Moon National Monument and so went on the park's website to see what there is to do there and what the park service recommends doing.

In the course of my due diligence I ran across the following passage, written by a former park ranger:

"Its like black vomit from the bowels of the earth" was the reaction of an 1860s emigrant when crossing the lava fields in the present day Craters of the Moon National Monument.  This colorful description was probably the most critical ever expressed about this volcanic landscape, but the negative comment most commonly heard at the visitor center desk is "This place is nothing but black rock."

After working at the monument for over 25 years, this phrase came to aggravate me every time I heard it. I wasn't aggravated by the visitor, but by the fact that I Knew that none of these visitors had really given themselves a chance to experience the place at its best.

Visitor surveys done at the park showed that statistically nearly all visitors to Craters of the Moon arrived between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. sometime during the months of July, August, or September.The problem with visiting the lava beds during this time is that all you experience is an overpowering, parching sun, a drying and too persistent wind, and a stark, seemingly lifeless, landscape of black rock.No wonder so may visitors never return and so many Idahoans fail to identify the place as being as beautiful as Yellowstone or theGrand Canyon. Given a chance, however, I am convinced that anyone who followed these simple rules would come to see Craters of the Moon as every bit their equal....

Reading this passage sealed the deal -- I will never go to Craters of the Moon National Monument, especially with three kids in the middle of the summer.  So I gave up on trying to find something interesting to see in this part of Idaho.  In hindsight, after the transit, it was probably the right decision.  The terrain is essentially high desert or farmland that is crossed by the meandering Snake River in many places.  The speed limit along the bulk of the route was 75 MPH.  And so onward we plowed to Elko, NV.

I was expecting Elko to be not much more than a strategically placed transit stop -- a remnant of both the California emigrant trail and the building of the continental railroad.  I expected a town that is really a collection of inns and eateries for the people driving from the Bay Area east or vice versa.  For those who view the 4 hour drive from San Francisco to Reno as too short for a reasonable day's journey and San Francisco to Salt Lake as a bit of a stretch, Elko is a good place to stop.

However, we were pleasantly surprised.  Instead of being a town full of slightly run down motels and gas stations, Elko was a nice little tidy community.  It does have its share of motels and gas stations, but the town is well-kept and had a nice little sparkle to it.  It had a number of good restaurants, including some highly recommended Basque places -- which were crowded.

As it turns out my preconceptions were misplaced.  What is driving the Elko economy is not simple hospitality, but rather gold.  It turns out that the state of Nevada produces more gold than just four other countries and most of that production is in Elko.  Elko is considered the capital of Nevada's gold belt and it shows.  

Reno and Bishop and onto LA

From Elko, NV we had a leisurely drive to Reno where we stayed at the Peppermill Resort and Casino. Casinos have a lot of overweight, unhealthy looking people as their clientele.  Lots of "wife-beater" tees in the casino's coffee shop even though it is probably one of the best hotels in Reno with nice rooms and a very good pool.

Twiggy had family business in Reno so I took the kids and went up to see my Uncle Dave and Aunt Judy at their place near Truckee at Tahoe-Donner.  After our visit, the kids and I continued our journey and we drove around Lake Tahoe, down to Carson City where we satisfied our craving for In-and-Out Burgers.  

In-And-Out has locations only in California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and Texas.  They are somewhat of a cult institution with a short published menu and a long non-published menu that you can order.  But don't worry, unlike New York, if you make a mistake, you won't be bullied and chastised for being uninitiated -- e.g. the Soup Man of Seinfeld fame or the gyro/falafel cart on 86th and Third.

Hot Creek Fish Hatchery

We then continued down to Bishop, CA a small town of 3900 people located in the high desert on the eastern side of the Sierras to see my brother and his family.  

The next day the kids and I picked up some sandwiches and ventured up to the Hot Creek trout hatchery near Mammoth where we eyed the fishes and had lunch.  

After lunch, we traveled back down the hill to Bishop and went to one of my favorite places to go when it is above 100 degrees -- Keough's Hot Springs.  Keough's is an interesting place to cool down.  It is a large free flowing pool that is fed by both geothermal hot water and cool water so anyone can find a spot in the pool where the temperature suits them.  Although the facilities are slightly run down, they are clean and the pool is very sanitary and without chlorine.  

The following day the kids and I and Uncle Jeff took a trip up to June Lake where our intent was to swim on the beach there and let the kids go fishing for trout.  The swimming was excellent and the water clear and not too cold.  However, the lightning-induced fires west of the area sent smoke across the Sierras and into the Mammoth and Bishop areas.  Sitting on the beach at June Lake made my eyes water and sting.  It was very much like being directly downwind from a campfire.  The skies weren't deep blue like they usually are -- they were white and hazy.  Between the stinging eyes and the increasing winds, we decided to bag the fishing.  

Twiggy met us that night in Bishop and we left the next day for LA.  We only had one night in LA before our morning flight to Hawaii.  Twiggy used to live in Manhattan Beach, a trendy beach community about 10 miles south of Venice and Santa Monica and just north of Hermosa and Redondo Beach.  There is a thriving downtown area with an abundance of casual and high end restaurants, nail salons, coffee shops, surf shops, etc .  We met one of our dear friends, Emily Beason, for dinner in downtown there at a gourmet pizza restaurant.  You would be hard pressed to find a pepperoni pizza on their menu, but instead pizza with fresh corn, arugula, goat cheese, and other fresh ingredients.  Even the vanilla brownie sundae we ordered for dessert was organic.  If only we could find similar restaurants in Rye that offer fresh, healthy food for a minimal price.  

Campbell and Grant on Manhattan Beach, CA

The next morning the kids spent a few hours walking on the beach where there was a national lifeguard tournament ongoing with teams from as far away as Hawaii and the Hamptons.   

We then went to the airport and onto the second third of our adventure -- Hawaii.

Hawaii -- A Goldilocks Story

Twiggy: 

Hawaii has always held a special significance for Randy and I.  We were engaged in Princeville on Kauai back in 1997 and honeymooned on the Big Island in 1998.

The Engagement Arraignment

The Sentencing

When we lived in San Francisco, it was relatively easy to make the trek to Hawaii.  We visited  the  islands it seems almost every year.  Having said that, we were also kidless for the first few years of our marriage.  Now that we live in New York, Hawaii makes less sense as a vacation destination so instead we get our sun and sand fixes in the Caribbean.  It's been at least 10 years since our last trip to Hawaii.  

Having now spent the last two and a half weeks on the Hawaiian Islands, in my humble opinion, nothing beats Hawaii, period.  It has some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, is part of the United States where you can use your cell phone to make calls just as if you are state side,  you can drink the water out of the tap, and people drive on the right side of the road ("Literally", as Joe Biden would say), and it is still exotic.  

Campbell has had an obsession with Hawaii for the past few years, and over the last year she has been telling anyone that would listen that she was going to visit Hawaii and attend a luau even before we had planned the trip.  We left the Great White Sienna loaded with the cowboy clothes at the hotel in LA and flew to Honolulu.  

Each of the islands has its own tempo.  Oahu is the busiest with Honolulu a built up city with traffic jams and bustle.  Kauai is very quiet, particularly on the north side near Hanalei and Princeville. Maui is spread out and somewhat in between although it does not have any cities, just smaller villages. 

We planned on spending 3 days in Oahu and then continue on to the northern part of Kauai in Princeville for a week, then finish up with a week in Maui in the Ka'anapali region.  This was all part of the vacation which was set up about a year ago.  

Oahu

The kids were disappointed that most hotels have given up the long-held tradition of greeting their guests with a fresh flower lei.  Nevertheless, everyone got over it after having arrived at the hotel and seeing the beautiful open lobby looking out onto the Pacific Ocean, feeling the cool trade winds, and celebrating our arrival with a a mai tai for the adults and a virgin pina colada for the kids.  The tiki torches were lit, the palm trees were swaying and everyone was happy.

Rainbow seen from George's kitchen window

Upon our arrival, we were to connect with our friend, George Mimura and his boys, Alex (14) and Andrew (10) who moved to Oahu about a year ago.  They were flying back home from the mainland about the same time we were to arrive, but George got food poisoning on the plane and we put off meeting until the next day.  George and the boys met us at the pool at our hotel the next day and we decided to go out to the beach where we rented some boogie boards and a stand-up paddle board for the kids, eventually adding a kayak to the mix.    

The water was about 75 degrees in temperature and perfectly clear.  The kids did not hesitate to jump right in.  Within a few short minutes, Campbell, who is 6 years old, had paddled out on a boogie board about 1/4 mile from shore  (about 3/4 of the way to where the waves are breaking in the picture below).  Of course this made Twiggy and me much more nervous than Campbell who seemed oblivious to any danger.  

George and Grant Turtle Hunting

Somehow everyone switched up water toys and Reagan and Campbell ended up on the SUP board with Andrew.  When the ever fearless Campbell saw a sea turtle swim under her, she was determined to swim alongside it and pet it, not once thinking that she might get her finger bitten off.  So she jumps off the board and dives down underwater in pursuit of the turtle which she eventually touches.

We enjoyed Oahu, and if we lived in Hawaii, we would probably choose to live here.   Clearly there are great food choices as well as a large international population there, particularly among the Japanese -- in fact, I would venture that one could live in Honolulu and only speak Japanese.  And despite Oahu's traffic and bustle, there are plenty of remote places away from Waikiki on the island that are readily accessible.  Having said that, for a vacation respite, I would prefer one of the other islands.  

Kauai

We flew to Kauai the following day for our week stay in Princeville.  Princeville is located on the northern, wet end of the island (Waialea, a mountain on the north end of the island is reportedly the wettest place on earth with over 450 inches of rain on average per year).   According to Wikipedia, Princeville was named by the plantation owner in honor of a visit to the area by Prince Albert Kamahemahe.  He named another area of the plantation Emmaville in honor of Prince Kamahemahe's mother, but the name never stuck.  Whereas Waikiki is tourist central with shops galore, Kauai is the complete opposite, a bit too quiet for my taste but beautiful nonetheless.   

Our weeks in Hawaii were more about activities than sightseeing.  We spent  a few days of our week in Kauai snorkeling at Tunnels Beach, almost at the end of the road past Hanalei.  To give you a sense of how less developed this part of Hawaii is, to get there we had to traverse numerous one-lane bridges that crossed streams or portions of taro fields, waiting for cars the other way to either clear the bridge or wait their turn before proceeding across ourselves.

One day Reagan, Grant and I rented bikes and rode the WaiKoa Loop Trail through Kauai Fresh Farms, a 500 acre farm which is owned by E-trade founder, Bill Porter.  Part of the farm includes the largest mahogany plantation in the United States.  Our plans were to meet up with Twiggy and Campbell at a waterfall created by an old stone dam originally built to provide irrigation water to the sugar cane plantation that used to be there.  I struggled on the first half of the journey cursing at first what I thought to be impediments of my age but when I realized the kids were having issues too, I blamed it on having to ride on grass the whole way.  I found the real cause of the difficulty on the way home where it quickly became apparent that while the route looked flat, it was imperceptibly uphill the whole way.  The trip back took a lot less effort and a lot less time and the bruise to my ego quickly healed.

Grant at the Prince Course in Princeville

Another afternoon Grant and I golfed at the Prince Course which is the number one rated course in Hawaii.  It was truly beautiful and worth just cruising around on the cart, even if you didn't play.  

While Grant and I were golfing, Twiggy and the girls went to the beach at the St. Regis and chased eels while snorkeling.  

Twiggy, Reagan, Grant and Campbell all suited up

Our last activity on Kauai was an ATV tour on the Kipu Ranch.  On one of our previous trips to the islands, Twiggy and I had taken an ATV tour through coffee fields and had a blast.  We did not expect this tour to be the same, especially since one probably shouldn't go full bore with kids bouncing around the vehicle inhaling red dust.  However, this tour was well worth the time, taking us through a privately owned farm which has been used for filming locations in many famous movies, including, among others, Jurassic Park and Indiana Jones.  The location was beautiful, there was not as much ATV activity but the tour offered unique access to a special location and it was great for the kids who got to swing off the same rope into the Hule'li River that Harrison Ford swung off evading captors in Indiana Jones.     

Grant as Indiana Jones

Maui

On Saturday, we flew from Kauai to Maui via Honolulu.  When I went to pick up the rental car at the airport, I was told I had made a mistake (this did not shock me too much as when I was arranging everything, I was having trouble remembering the city names given the proliferation of vowels and shortage of consonants in their names) and booked a car at their facility in Kauai that week instead of the facility at the airport on Maui.  Of course they were booked up and could not simply rent me another car.  After some negotiating, I arranged for us to get a reasonable price on a true land yacht -- a Crown Victoria -- which not only drove exactly like the 1971 Ford LTD that my parents owned, it looked about as dated on the inside as well.  Anyway, feeling like a member of Five-O, I swung around to pick up the family and immediately took my share of grief.  On the other hand, one fun part was watching other drivers start to panic and slow down when they saw us in their rear view mirrors.

Our timeshare was in a very large development in Kana'apali area of Maui, next to one of the best beaches in Maui.  All the units are housed in one very large building and by the time we got to the room through a seemingly never-ending maze-like collection of corridors I felt like I deserved a pellet.  It took us three days to find an efficient way to the pool and the car.  Having said that, the resort was nice and our accommodations were very spacious and comfortable. 

The kids on the Kapalua Resort Coastal Trail

Twiggy's sister, Karen, was also on Maui staying at a resort just south of where we were staying.  One day we met up with her and her friend, Vesna, and decided to explore the Kapalua Resort Coastal Trail which was about 14 miles north of where we were.  This was an incredible walk.  As we started walking along the Coastal Trail, we were in awe.  It was a place where every time you turned a corner, the view was as good as or better than the last.  We were stopping every 300 feet to take pictures and I was wondering if we would ever get more than 1/4 mile down the trail. Shortly, we came to a point where you could walk down and check out some tide pools formed in the lava rocks.  So we did, and as we were about to continue on, a few suspect looking guys come tumbling down onto the point and jump into the water about 6 feet below.  They keep getting out and jumping back in.  They appear to be low-wattage types, with low hanging shorts that expose their backsides, tattoos and the large primal earrings.  We engage them in conversation and they are completely nice people, but my first impressions about the wattage are confirmed when I notice that one of them takes his large dive knife out each time before he jumps in, then he re-sheaths it, climbs out, and repeats the process.  I ask him why and he says it is because he is afraid of sharks.  Anyway, the kids eventually end up jumping off in the same spot and we spend another 30 minutes there, watching a few large turtles come close by.  I find a seat on the rocks nearby as I don't have my bathing suit with me and I am getting warmer by the moment (note-to-self: never go anywhere in Hawaii without a bathing suit).

We continue along the trail through a ground-nesting bird sanctuary and eventually come to a large cove where people are jumping off of rock cliffs in various places from about 15-20 feet above the water.  The water is clear and reasonably deep.  After Aunt Karen and Vesna jump, Reagan is determined to go.  At this point I give it about 1 in 40 odds that she actually goes through with it.  But to my surprise, she takes the leap.  I am glad she had the opportunity to see Karen and Vesna jump as I don't think she would have done it with just our family there.  Even more to my surprise, Grant decides to go too:  

So for the next hour or so, everybody but Twiggy and I are frolicking in the cool water and taking turns jumping off of the cliff.   I am getting hotter and hotter by the minute.  Eventually I can't stand it anymore and decide to shed my shirt, belt and everything in my pockets and jump in too.  Twiggy is left in the scorching sun and dry heat alone without a bathing suit.  Then the kids start cajoling her to come in.  This cajoling goes on for some time and reaches a pretty high level of intensity before Twiggy slowly relents and agrees to come in.  But, for anyone who has not seen Twiggy enter a pool, she does it very, very slowly.  There is no jump, even from a modest height for her.  So she creeps over the rocks and eventually gets into the water -- stepping on a sea urchin and embedding its spines into the sole of her foot in the process.  

There were a number of local Polynesian-types hanging around who told us she had stepped on Wana.  That led to some discussion in our group over whether Wana was sea urchin or some other peril of the ocean.  Her foot was going numb and becoming swollen.  The locals were insistent that the remedy was to pee on it.  Twiggy balked at that, but as we were leaving, making our way back up the hill, we left to choruses of rotund Hawaiians shouting after us "Pee on it!".     We eventually fetched our car with the help of some German tourists and made our way back to the hotel, stopping to purchase some vinegar on the way.  They sell it by the gallon here, so I don't think this is an uncommon problem.  Twiggy soaked her foot in vinegar for the bulk of the evening and eventually the numbness went away and most of the spines disintegrated after a few days.  

Turtle off of Wailea

The following day we took a snorkel trip to Molokini with Trilogy Tours.  The boat was a very large catamaran and very stable, but we the hour long trip across the strait was heading into rolling waves and Grant became seasick and fed the fish off the stern of the boat for a while.  After snorkeling at Molokini the boat stopped again near Wailea where there are a lot of turtles.  Overall the snorkeling was OK, the food was good, the service was incredible and the overall experience made for a good day.  

The following night we attended the Old Lahaina Luau.  Twiggy had set this up more than a month in advance.  We had great seats and it was a pretty cool experience: roasted pig, hula dancers, great venue on the water, good service, all you can eat and drink.  The kids loved it.  I was expecting some dudes that threw, twirled or ate fire, but was disappointed that was not part of the show. 

Who doesn't like women in coconut bikinis?

On our last full day in Hawaii we went down to the Black Rock area of Kaanapali beach.  People were again jumping off the rocks here, but they were not as high as the jump in Kapalua. Nevertheless, Reagan and Grant had to take the leap.  

Grant does Black Rock

First impressions: Oahu is too busy, Kauai is too quiet, and Maui is just right.